Bachelor Update #11 – #dirtystreetpie

DING DONG – AMBER IS GONE! 

Our office sweepstake rolls on – here is the update!

  • Young bogan Sam went on a date to a leftover set from a perfume ad shoot. Fields, flowers, picnic basket and yes a wooden swing hanging from a tree *cough* clearly wasn’t there before *cough*. Champagne rather than alcopops kept it classy. Blake once again lost his tonsils somewhere down her throat then used 1 of only 3 phrases he knows – #3 “we were lost in the moment”. 
  • Newbie Lauren went to a fake Italian restaurant – this week’s cheese was all mozzarella folks! The 5 secs of airtime showed at some point very soon poor Lozzie will get the chop. If you put oxygen and magnesium together you would get more chemistry than this date (yes, I used the OMg joke :P). In a Bachelor first, Blake actually found someone he does not want to pash – but by default still got a rose as they all knew Amber was leaving. 
  • Laurina’s classic date – where to begin! Proved just how awkward a bowling alley setting is when you are the only 2 people and there is no glow lights or 90s disco tunes. She scores points not only for 2 strikes but her ability to refer to herself as a hashtag #clownshoesandcocktaildress. Wins a glam dinner at a food truck – Blake says it’s okay as it’s a famous #dirtystreetpie place famous for their pies. So she orders a hotdog. Tears as she realises producers set her up. They feel bad and throw a bunch of tinsel on a tree and grab a random chihuahua off the street that looked overjoyed at being “reunited with its owner”! *cough* fake pet dog? *cough
  • And then AMBER. Finally had a moment of self realisation that the only kind of biatch Blake would take on a date would in fact be a fake chihuahua (Boom ! Haha :P). Blake is too terrified to dump her publicly so pulls her aside and gives a heartfelt speech that translated to “the producers wanted me to keep you here, I faked begging you to stay, Osher isn’t looking so please, please, just leave now”. 

Only 1 person leaving per episode sigh … at this rate, the NBN will rolled out in my area before this show ever ends!!!


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