Bachelor #15 – Put a damper on your glamping

So today is a bumper catch up edition – I’m 2 eps behind!

Wed night

  • Sam got the Pretty Woman treatment, except in her case she transformed from bogan rather than you know what. Nothing says I love you like letting her BORROW some jewellery from official Bachelor jeweler, Bunda. Plus, Zumbo had clearly been attempting to work off his Ch10 debt off camera this time, as the macaroon croquembouche tower smacked off his handiwork. Sam said she is looking for a guy who… will be a great role model for her brothers. Umm… okay.
  • Group date they decided to drop the pretense and openly show that yes, the girls are living in a harem. It was Aladdin meets Spotlight. Blake showed he’d rather poke his own eye out than talk to Laurina about “feelings”. Laurina paid him back by doing a Mentos moment product placement in the midst of his cocktail party speech. She finally got the boot. Which will go well with all the outfits she sells at her boutique.

Last night, a series of bland dates:

  • Never before have so many women looked so excited to be going to… the Blue Mountains instead of Paris… or Broome
  • Jess still managed to hog his time whilst jumping down a cliff, meanwhile Louise showed the cameramen the colour of her lacy drawers does not match her lipstick.
  • Classy Lisa went horseriding but dared to giggle when he queried how deep her love is for a stranger she met on TV who is also dating 4 other women? Her dignity in not getting caught in the moment and not wanting to pash clearly confused him – no longer hot favourite! Personally, I hope she finds someone better.
  • Jess showed she really is Bambi by fawning (see what I did there? haha) all over him in a Jacuzzi. Now it was my turn to feel like I wanted to poke my eye out.
  • He asked Sam why she wasn’t falling at his feet declaring her love, and she selfishly said she has a problem with him having 5 girlfriends. He may decide after all to drop her back off at Schoolies on the trip back.
  • Zoe and Blake awkwardly attempted ‘serious chat’ whilst jointly leaning on a large stick. Then she got shafted.

Next week – REUNION SHOW – MEOWWW!


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