Bachelor S3 Ep#7 – It’s a ho-down

We start with Osher popping by with the date card – he’s wearing flannel check and we all know what that means – it’s BARN DANCE EPISODE and time for a ho/hoedown (make of that what you will).

Emily is invited on a single date and Nina can’t process why she’s not screaming like a good harem wife should. Emily once again tells us, she doesn’t approach guys, she waits for them. Sure, she’ll fill out an Bachelor application, film an audition video, go through a selection process to end up on a reality show – but make no mistake, she waits for the guy to make the first move.

The date is a treasure hunt, and clearly the producers remembered that time in Year 4 social studies when you learnt the best way to make a realistic looking treasure map is to stain the paper with coffee and burn the edges. Job well done Ch10 art department! The clues are harder than cracking The Da Vinci Code, and just like Tom Hanks in a different film they end up right back on the beach. Where they started. And apparently didn’t notice the massive X in the sand next to a few pieces of ½ Price Pine furniture.

Shock, horror, the treasure is jewelry, and as Emily opens the lid she gives that exact sound you make when you really hope your boyfriend has kept the receipt. Last year was Bunda diamonds, this year it’s – a Zamels bracelet.  First it was duck chins instead of croquembouche and now this – cutbacks at Ch10? It would be an understatement to say the bracelet is a tad big – a lasso would fit better on her twig wrist.

As they sip coconuts with straws, Emily tells Sam she is an open book. My guess is the pages are all blank… They sit down to enjoy a picnic and how am I only just realising now this season is literally SPONSORED BY CHEESE !!! South Cape to be exact.

Back at the mansion, the cutbacks continue – Osher is nowhere to be found so  Schnitty Cent pulls the next date card out of her a**. Literally. She was sitting on it. It was very weird.

And the group date is off to Pioneer World, circa Perth 1980s (really, we had one, Google it!). Everyone appears to have been dressed by Supre as the first game kicks off – apple bobbing. You couldn’t make this stuff up:

1

Heather wins and gets to help him make lemonade whilst everyone else has sour grapes (boom :P).

The  producers momentarily mistake this for the NZ version of The Betchella (if you need a laugh, watch the Kiwis say Bachelor  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzhwfjraH-0 ) – as the next challenge involves sheep:

2

The night finishes with some fiddlers in a barn dance. Conveniently, Spotlight and Dusk zhooshed up Pioneer World earlier in the day as there are many couches with artsy throws and candles in lanterns.

3

Scandal erupts when Sam takes a leaf out of Blake’s book from last year. First he takes Heather aside (AGAIN!) and tells her how much he digs her. Then he takes aside Sarah and tells her how much he digs her! Then it’s Schnitzel’s turn and this time he goes straight for the pash – once again breaking the harem group date ethics code!!

No time for cocktail party, we cut straight to the Rose Ceremony where it is clearly goth night:

4

Rachel – aka She Who Only Ever Speaks through the Language of Balloons

We all know who is going home – Jasmin – she thought it was because she didn’t love sheep, but really he just couldn’t forgive her wearing double denim.

The fun continues tonight!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s