Clearly Sam missed the Nissan back from Pioneer World last ep, as he appears to be still stuck out there with a just a horse for company, leaning against the fence as he existentially ponders.
Did I leave the iron on?
Shake and bake peeps, the group date is go-karting and they all get to dress like it’s Talledaga Nights!
Nina gets a little overexcited as apparently she is into cars and has even Tokyo Drifted.
Things quickly escalate into a real-life Mario Kart (I was fervently hoping there’d be a banana peel in the road around bend #2) – Emily who you’d think would be Princess Peach, declares it literally is on like Donkey Kong, and is out to ensure Nina aka Bowser doesn’t take the glory.
Rachel, meanwhile, is clearly Yoshi… bumbling away at the rear being lapped at every turn.
Emily wins by 7 secs and hides in the pit lane, leaving Nina to mistakenly think she took the line honours and do an embarrassing celebration dance for no reason. Emily gets to spend alone time with Sam, a conversation which by the look on his face is clearly also the pits, as Emily reveals she just wanted to beat Nina and Sam reveals he’d rather Nina won. #Awkward.
Nina gets her revenge by ‘accidentally on purpose’ revealing Snazzy Sultana pashed Sam at the group date. Luckily Heather is the rumoured “paid actress” hired by the producers and not Nina – otherwise with Nina’s appalling acting skills the jig woulda been up the first time she spoke.
Snazzy Sultana scores a second date and he arrives in full Friday Fashion Hamptons gear on an old fashioned boat, complete with no socks.
#Imonaboat
He whisks her away for a picnic and you guessed it, naturally there is a full basket of CHEESE. The make their own pizzas and then he surprises her – Sam has found out she’s a massive Star Wars fan (add +100 bonus points in my book!) and has had dessert made in her honour – a jelly tribute to the Death Star.
To prove I’m not making this up:
Yoshi (Rachel) has spent way too much time talking to camera this ep, and may be the only contestant to never actually have spoken to The Bachelor – so naturally she goes home with her balloon animals.
Next week: INTRUDERS!!!
Charisse Nicolle 