Bachelor S3 Ep#12 – For art’s sake

After coming to the harsh realisation that he doesn’t get to keep his whole harem, Sam tries to hurriedly flee in a kayak. Clearly the shark nets catch him and drag him back as it’s on with the show!

This group date is an art challenge. The girls have to create Sam in both clay and charcoal. Heather teams up with Lana who naturally says they need to highlight Sam’s eyes. Honestly her and Sam could be OPSM brand ambassadors at this point.

The outcome is a horror sculpture only Tim Burton would be proud of:


Apparently Sam’s rib cage is on the outside of his chest:



Also we’ve found Lana the Icelandic Golfer’s one flaw! I’ll let Design Team be the judge of this, but either she can’t draw, or in her eyes Sam is an alien:


The Fringe aka Rachel claims unfair advantage as she had to draw whilst looking on from the side. Apparently she’s never seen a human body front on so wasn’t able to draw on her depths of knowledge of the human form.

During the “exhibition”, and I use the term very loosely, Rachel pulls Sam aside to describe his life “in 1min or less”. But when it’s her turn, she struggles to fill out 1min… as Instagram only ever lets her describe food in 5 hashtags.

Schnitzel is back in the game! She wins the alone time and guess what peeps, this time Spotlight have pulled out all the stops – they’ve found their 1986 plastic fruit collection! Schnitty calls Sam out for having his attention so easily turned by a golfer, and tells him to pull his head out of his bunker.

Sam decides it’s time to romance Sarah *cough* suck-up-after-last-night’s-rose-debacle *cough*. He surprises her with a limo with fully working tires, and a pair of diamond earrings from our old pal Zamels. Unlike Emily, Sarah has the grace not to make the ‘hope you kept the receipt’ sigh. Sam is determined not to let the weather rain on his Botanical Gardens parade so he makes a quick call to Dusk and South Cape who never let us down – yep he’s set up a room full of candles and cheese!

If the brie isn’t enough, he’s also hired an opera singer to add to the cheese. Sarah tells us she’s never heard opera, as we know she’s more of a Su-Bo fan cos she Dreamed a Dream that told her to come on the show. Sam cuts straight to the chase, noting she is 9yrs younger than him and asking has she ever lived out of home? This is subtle guy speak for, if you moved in, would you know how to cook and clean for me?

After last night getting a taste for Waldecks by growing his own extra roses, Sam outdoes himself by producing not one rose but an entire bouquet of unrelated flowers for Sarah! Grovelling complete.

Cocktail party time, and things are clearly getting desperately boring in the house as Heather has evidently whipped up some earrings from the curtain tassels (sadly, I can’t find a photo of it).

The Fringe asks Sam what he’s looking for in a woman. He starts off with ‘smart’ and literally at this point she completely tunes out as she knows her hopes are dashed. She makes a jab at one of Nina’s Two Faces about her not being into health and fitness but it’s too late – The Fringe is CUT ! (Boom :P)

Which could have happened last night and saved us having to endure next week’s speed date nonsense where he has to kick someone out super fast before -it’s time for HOME VISITS!

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