All of the guys will be going on a group date, with the exception of the single date going to Richie, who despite dressing like a smurf can frankly do no wrong in my eyes.
La la la-la la la, Sing a happy song!
The group date is at an abandoned fairground. At first we think Osher is wearing his own daggy Christmas sweater ala Alex but NO, look again – it’s a Jolly Roger skull ‘n cross bones knitted sweater! So edgy, so hipster, evidently he’s been shopping from International Model David’s knitting catalogue spread.
My knitting yarn balls are made of steel.
The guys will be pitted against one another in a sideshow alley fight club scenario. First up is the strength machine, because this show doesn’t believe in stereotyping at all! Personally I’ve always thought those things are rigged to never win so I am shocked when Dave manages to hammer the thing so hard the bell rings. Actually everyone can do it except Michael who can’t invent his way out of this one.
There is an epic tug-of-war event the likes of which have not been seen since Corporate Day 2014 #winning. The guys finish with the Clowns and can I say never before in my entire life have I ever seen anyone THROW the ping pong balls at the clowns. Everyone knows the idea is to shove them all in the mouth and via a bit of quadratic equation algebra figure out your score knowing that it is mathematically impossible to ever get the exact number to win the oversized plush gorilla holding a dumbbell or even the giant Banana in Pyjamas. YOU ARE PLAYING IT WRONG, OSHER.
It comes down to a Game of Davids – Dave vs Davey, man vs clown, Plumber vs Playa. Dave wins and gets to spend some time in the Spotlight tent with Sam during which there is zero chemistry and no attempts at a pash. There’s a monkey on your back now Dave and I don’t mean the oversized plush gorilla.
Cut to Richie’s single date and hold the phone ladies – we discover he may well be the perfect catch – no no I’m not talking about hair or abs, but because we have discovered a guy who KNOWS TO WEAR A BROWN BELT WITH BROWN SHOES – shut the front gate that’s #nextlevel ! 😛
The single date twist is they will both be made over to look like they are 50 years older celebrating their wedding anniversary. Move over sound guys, makeup may steal your Logie thunder, check out this amazing transformation:
Sam comments that it’s good to have a sturdy cane, which makes us wonder why she got rid of Kayne last episode.
Their date is a hilarious trip to the local bowls club for a spot of Bingo before Richie gets to show off his Legs 11 by cutting up a rug:
Chim-chiminee!
Before actually breakdancing, which in his makeup resembled don’t-break-a-hip-dancing and was one of the most amazing things on TV this year:
The day finishes with a romantic date, forget the cheese we’ve now upgraded to corn-iness with a bowl of Buttery Popcorn and a movie about Richie’s background. Sound guys are back as we know from the orchestral score blatantly building to a crescendo that a kiss is about to happen. And Richie doesn’t let us down. Hand this man a corsage!
Cocktail party time, and it appears 30 Rock style ‘power clashing’ is the dress theme:
Stripes and checks, are you for realz? Don’t you understand, Richie can match his BELT to his SHOES.
Sam has a heated exchange with Davey where she tells him he’s playa. He can’t verbalise a response so thinks the best way to refute her claim is to awkwardly grab her knee. We cut to an ad break only to return and find Davey has perhaps been given a kneecapping of his own as bizarrely he’s nowhere to be seen!
Osher (wearing a shirt pattern that looks like Sasha drew it and immediately makes me want to colour it all in) chokes up as he tells the guys Davey has literally gone to join Tony in swimming with the fishes and Sam has left the building.
Down to Top 5 and next week – home visits!
Charisse Nicolle 