Denim is the New Black – The Bachelor Ep#6

1 – No joke, apparently the guy in charge of testing the Census website at ABS is called… John Citizen. Talk about being born to do a job! But I digress. Imagine Census night in a harem.

2 – Hilarious – Georgia actually thinks she will be picked for a single date. Has she not seen the colour of her own hair?! The 4 Non Blondes days are numbered…sing it with me Saying heyyyy yeah yeah, What’s going on?

3 – Noni B and Special K manage to out-dramatic the Dramatic Squirrel with their completely unrehearsed looks of shock:



4 – It appears most of the girls have ripped down some of the 50s harem wallpaper and gotten out the ol’ Janome to whip up their outfits:

5 – Apparently none of these women have ever seen a man run before. Who needs the torch to light the fake Olympic cauldron – Alex looks about to combust at the mere sight of him.

6 – This fake event is already more exciting than the real dressage. (Sorry Heather haha :P)

7 – Now they appear to have gotten their outfits out of Barbie’s exercise locker. Every shade of pastel colours + abs.

8 – OMG they literally have turned this into the Hunger Games … But without the skill of Katniss.

9 – Bingle is now trying to bring back the head choker:


11 – Oh, no actually they are just going to roll them in a straight line.


13 – Bingle cops a zorb ball bingle.

14 – Kangaroo suits? There is officially no end to this degree of humilation. I’m with Bingle on this one – seriously WTF people.

15 – “No boxing, no clawing, no fighting” – umm have they ever SEEN how kangaroos actually fight?! A BOXING one is our sporting emblem for Pete’s sake.

16 – Fun 80s fact: Russia is dressed like Rainbow Sprite.

17 – Bingle goes downnnnnn and she is NOT happy, Jan.

18 – Seriously who dressed these girls today, Jem & the Holograms?!

19 – BTW Osher has some fresh salad #legoundercut

20 – You see that? Spotlight swung by with some ye olde Olympic lanterns!

21 – Anyone else feel like busting out some George Michael? Cos you gotta have faith-a-faith-a-faith…

22 – Good job calling him out on the fake baby date concept.

23 – She is so effervescent she could cure indigestion.

24 – OMG he is wearing his denim shirt again hahahaha !

25 – Goodness gracious, this man is racking up the pashes!

26 – Do you think Special K uses Kylie Jenner’s lip plumper?

27 – OMG they are wearing MATCHING FLANNEL.

28 – Richie has never dated a model before. Clearly he has a box to tick.

29 – Unlike all of us on Census night, he may get to tick a box.

30 – Nothing screams romance like a #nodoors chopper over reams of barbed wire:

31 – Now Kiki is in a DENIM SHIRT!!!

32 – Dotti just needs to bring out a line of denim chokers this summer and call it Romance by Richie.

33 – Hang about, did Bingle just call Special K a bogan?! Pot kettle black, much?

34 – Spotlight have figured out how to hang a chandelier from a tree! Maximum Decorator Level ACHIEVED.

35 – “To an excellent adventure” – which one is Bill and which is Ted?

36 – Also that is clearly a sign she’s not going to get picked.

37 – In that water setting I can practically hear Sebastian the Crab singing sha-la-la-la-la-la don’t stop now, go on and KISS THA GIRL. Oh come on, he’s kissed everyone else. Special K Mendes should be insulted.

38 – Denim Shirt Disease is spreading.

39 – I would never have thought of Special K as being a serious person. Turns out she’s actually pretty cool ‘n smart ‘n stuff ie. WHY IS SHE ON THIS SHOW?!

40 – Alex’s whingey whiny Stage 83 Clinger act is really starting to grind my gears. HE’S NOT GOING TO PICK YOU. BRACE YOURSELF NOW.

41 – Bingle rocking the jumpsuit and I also note she appears to have swapped chokers for a necklace made from the teeth of her past takedowns.

42 – I too feel like I am going to throw up in my mouth.

43 – Oh man. Just like every other guy, Richie can’t see the slag for the trees.

44 – This music is more threatening than The Rains of Castamere !!! RED WEDDING SHIZZLE IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN!!

45 – Goth Georgia’s maniacal laughter is EVERYTHING.

46 – FFS ALEX!!! Now you’re actually crying about being in a harem. There are 11 of you and 1 of him. Do the maths!!

47 – To quote our favourite Optus spokesperson Josh Thomas – YAAAAS – NEXT WEEK SOMEONE WALKS OUT!!!

48 – It’s not a journey Osher. Maybe Idol was, but this is just a one way path to humiliation.

49 – I see Northam Nikki left the other half of her dress back in the Wheatbelt.

50 – Side note – do you think in a shock twist that whoever finds the matching half of Nikki’s dresses will turn out to be her Prince Charming?

51 – How did Georgia get through without bleaching her hair?!!

52 – He’s still bringin’ home the Bacon.

53 – Russia is looking very dignified – pick her or not, zhe doez not care!

54 – And yep, Russia is disqualified. And she is ALL CLASS about it!

55 – 1 of the intruders is a brunette – she’s toast.

56 – Hold onto your denim chokers – next week’s flower crown and feather duster earring choices are NEXT LEVEL!

57 – OMG – the Dressage is LITERALLY on Ch72 RIGHT NOW HAHA!!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s