Cartography, Dragon Shade and Ol’ Blue Eyes: 88 Thoughts I Had Whilst Watching GoT S8 Ep1

Needless to say: SPOILERS AHEAD!

Live like a lord for $800 a night, cleaning extra, self-contained
  1. I’ve tuned in 5mins early. I wonder if the 53 ads I’m now watching cost more or less than a spot during the Superbowl?
  2. Love how Foxtel try to milk this moment with an epic ad trying to unsubtly remind us they have other shows too!
  3. Okay THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING. THIS IS NOT A DRILL PEOPLE
  4. I forgot how much I loved this theme music till I started looping it last night in anticipation
  5. The cello is an under-appreciated instrument
  6. Let’s take a moment to salute the intro map creators and their attention to detail. The hole in The Walllllll *sniff* 😢
  7. Map makers are going INSIDE THE CASTLES! That’s Balerion the Dread’s skull under the Red Keep! I haven’t been this excited about cartography since Harry’s Marauder’s Map
  8. Okay so the inside part was filler as there are seem to be only 2 locations this episode BUT STILL it was epic map work 👏
  9. Random kid climbing tree is all of us wanting to SEE THIS (side note, bet he’s related to one of the crew to get that gig)
  10. Long camera shot – Winterfell isn’t exactly a cheery holiday destination is it
  11. At last! Jon and Dany riding together into The North!
  12. Still loving Dany’s wolf fur from Starks ‘R Us and that she knows the value of a sensible winter coat as an investment wardrobe piece
  13. Wonder if Westeros ever has ‘Winter is Coming 40% off end of summer clothing’ sales?
  14. Arya overcome with emotion glimpsing Jon is all of us
  15. OMG Arya shipping Gendry as he rides in! Just quietly, all that rowing has paid dividends
  16. Tyrion setting the tone early with the sass
  17. Greyworm and Missandei bringing sexy horseback
  18. These villagers could give the Night King a run for his money in the ‘icy stare’ stakes
  19. But wait, did I mention, I BROUGHT DRAGONS biatches?
  20. The Starks seeing the dragons at last and Sansa thinking, woulda been handy at the Battle of the Bastards
  21. Nice Air BnB aerial drone shot there of Winterfell ‘live like a lord for $500/night, fully self contained’
  22. Hang on, the Foxtel Now app hasn’t crashed yet! AMAZING
  23. (Can’t even imagine how many extra server racks that cost)
  24. Nothing has actually happened yet and yet SO MUCH HAS
  25. REUNION #1: Jon and Bran!
  26. ‘You’re a man’. ‘Almost’. Jon’s face. Yeah we aren’t sure what % of him is raven either..?
  27. So much side eye being thrown around one courtyard. House Snark, much?
  28. The pocket rocket gal from Bear Island is baaaaccck
  29. Is this the first time Dany has thrown a compliment? And Sansa responds with the once-over ‘that coat is so last season’ look before Bran busts out the radical candour. Family reunions
  30. Sansa: yeah, I know, Bran is basically Alexa’s lesser known cousin Debbie Downer. Just an omniscient speaker spitting out random weather facts and Bon Jovi playlists no one asked for
  31. Didn’t the Umbers kill Shaggydog? Doesn’t bode well for this kid’s storyline
  32. ‘ANYTHING THEY WANT’ bwahahahaa shots fired by SHADE-nerys
  33. ‘Our armies haven’t been friends in the past’ – ah slight understatement, give or take seven seasons
  34. REUNION #2: First Husband’s Club – she got the house, he got charged with treason
  35. Sansa with the backhanded ‘cleverest man alive’ compliment
  36. Bran-lexa, lurking. Again. Just waiting to tell you the traffic news
  37. REUNION #3: ARYA AND JON – I’m not crying, you are
  38. ‘Once or twice’
  39. That’s not a knife, THIS IS A KNIFE! #needle #longclaw
  40. The Trashy Clubber Greyjoy is back
  41. Elephants never forget. Greyjoy did
  42. Talk about a plum role for this Captain Strickland dude – nothing like popping up in the very last season as a Jaime wannabe, if only to say ‘you were there’
  43. ‘You want a whore, buy one, you want a queen, earn her’ = advice for life
  44. Cersei’s Alexander McQueen wardrobe is on fleck
  45. For those playing GoT bingo, you can now tick off ‘brothel scene’, and the bonus square ‘irrelevant nudity’!
  46. Is that the crossbow from..?
  47. Oh man, setting Bronn up for some tough choices in about 3 episodes time – will he take the gold and run or play the fastest-finger-first round?
  48. Reminds me, it was so unsettling seeing Qybern pop up as the PM in The Crown
  49. The McQueen wardrobe budget clearly didn’t extend to the dressing gown Cersei seemingly just whipped up with a tablecloth
  50. Theon saves the day and gets the headbutt he deserves
  51. Aww, he’s a Stark at heart
  52. Ser Davos continues dropping the subtle one liners at every turn! #betterthananonion
  53. Love that 18 goats and 11 sheep is a dragon’s idea of fasting
  54. Jon mounting a dragon as awkwardly as the rest of us would
  55. Love that the creators threw $$$ into digitally rendering this plot-irrelevant joyriding rollercoaster moment of brevity in what Davos rightly calls ‘the sh*t history’ of Westeros! Also, #couplegoals
  56. This kiss scene is a side platter of Camembert level cheese BUT is also the definitive use of the acronym ROFLMAO – gold !!! 🤣🤣
  57. Dragon side eye is NEXT LEVEL
  58. REUNION #4: Arya and The Hound ‘I robbed you first’
  59. REUNION #5: Arya and Gendry yaaasss
  60. I don’t know why she wants a dragonglass weapon that splits in half but clearly it will be a gamechanger
  61. ‘You don’t know any other rich women’ because you were in the ocean rowing for about 4yrs
  62. Is it just me or does Sansa’s lariat necklace seem 10x bigger this year? Key weapon in upcoming scene, mark my words
  63. Aww Sam, everyone’s BFF, bumbling before the Qween
  64. Ohh, that’s right. Oh, oh that’s awkward…
  65. Oh, and again. Yep, the brother too. Dickon went down.
  66. Does that mean Sam’s now Lord Tarly?
  67. ‘Waiting for an old friend’… hmmmmmmm 🤔
  68. The facial expressions everyone pulls ever time Bran-lexa speaks are priceless
  69. As if Sam hasn’t suffered enough tonight, he now needs to be the one to tell Jon everything?
  70. REUNION #6: That moment when you try to hide out in the crypts only to stumble upon the one person you are trying to avoid right now – but also, SAM AND JON!
  71. If the Foxtel Now app is ever going to crash, now would be the time
  72. Truly poetic having this scene in front of the statues of Ned and Lyanna – throwback to S1 ‘the next time we talk I’ll tell you about your mother’ #allthefeels
  73. Sam with the reverse compliment sandwich method. I’m the only Tarly left now thanks to your gf, but wait’ll you hear this next bit!
  74. I love that of everything he’s just hearing, Jon is most upset that Ned lied to him all of his life *sniff* 😭
  75. Finally, you know everything Jon Snow! 😮
  76. Seriously, how has the Foxtel app not crashed by now?
  77. ‘I’VE ALWAYS HAD BLUE EYES’ is the best line of the year
  78. REUNION #7: Tormund and the guy from the Night’s Watch whose name I can never recall but who has inexplicably lasted until this point in the series
  79. Eww that arm wall mural is nasty and definitely won’t be found alongside the ‘cats wearing Victorian clothing’ prints at IKEA
  80. Why are the White Walkers obsessed with that spiral shape? What does it all mean?? 🤔
  81. Made you jump!
  82. For a second, I thought it was Uncle Benjen riding back in. But then I remember who rode off in shabby chic last season… !!
  83. Golden Boy is here!
  84. OMG OMG OMG the moment you run into that kid you once pushed out a window and thereby inadvertently started the whole Game of Thrones 😶
  85. REUNION #8: THE REUNION WE NEVER KNEW WE NEEDED UNTIL RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT 👏
  86. Old mate! Bran-lexa! Forget Clegane Bowl, it’s showtime!!!
  87. HOW IS THIS EPISODE ALREADY OVER?!! 😲
  88. The table is set. The cutlery polished. Dust off the splades, we’ve got ourselves a dinner party to rival MAFS
SHADE-nerys
THIS is a knife
Next level stepchild attitude
Ahh BRB, think I left the oven on at King’s Landing…

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